Happy National Sex Toy Day! In my world, this day is better than Christmas itself.
Ordinarily, I’d start a piece with a joke about how great these buzzy buys are, and (in my head, at least) we’d all have a giggle and a chinwag about our favourites.
But research conducted by YouGov on behalf of female-focused erotica site Frolic Me (one of my personal faves) shows that just 43% of women have ever used a sex toy. Gasp.
The survey of 1,091 women also shows that of the less than half of women who have used a sex toy, just 48% have paired it with erotica.
Now, I’m not in the business of telling you how to get off (actually, I am, but that’s beside the point). But I will say one thing: if you’ve never combined some ~dedicated you time~ with a little erotica, you’re missing out.
Research shows that using a sex toy with a partner can increase sexual pleasure – and we all know women aren’t orgasming as much as men, so God knows we need it.
I’d highly recommend exploring by yourself, too, and adding erotica into the mix, though, and studies suggest you have an even more orgasmic result.
To mark My Favourite Day Of All Time, Frolic Me has partnered with SheSpot to release one free erotic film every day for a week, alongside a recommended product from SheSpot and practical tips on how to enjoy them together.
To take part, you’ll need to follow this link to access the free erotica (it goes without saying that this is NSFW) or enter the code ‘ST26’ when you sign up for Frolic Me.
If you’re curious about which sex toys could be good for a beginner, I’ve rounded up seven options (to keep things simple) of sex toys I’ve actually given to friends who’ve never used a sex toy before.
Keep reading for my suggestions and tips from Frolic Me’s founder, Anna Richards, about what makes a great beginner’s sex toy.
Best sex toys for beginners.
If you’re not sure whether you like targeted stimulation, broad, buzzy, or deep, a pebble vibrator will always have the solution to figure it out.
Je Joue has created its very own line for beginners, ILY, which is a range of easy-to-use vibrators that can help you figure out what you like.
The pebble, though, is my fave. It’s small, super quiet, and comes loaded with three vibration speeds and seven patterns to keep you busy.
If you’re willing to spend a bit more money, Dame makes an excellent pebble vibrator, which can be bended and squeezed to whatever shape will most get you off.
That arrow shape near the top is intended to be held against your clitoris, while the rest of the toy can lie flush against your vulva to send its five vibration modes across the entire thing.
If you’re worried about not knowing how to use a sex toy correctly, it’s super easy to use, as it comes with just one button, and the added sensory element of squish makes it a great fidget tool for you nervous wankers out there.
There’s not a toy in Smile Makers Collection’s oeuvre that wouldn’t be suitable for beginners, TBH, but this one is labelled its ‘beginner’ toy as it’s super simple and versatile.
Not only can it be used against your clit – or anywhere you like, for that matter – by simply dragging it over the surface, but it’s also long enough to be inserted inside your vagina if you fancy a spot of penetration.
Again, it’s very easy to use, with just one button to control its four vibration modes and two patterns, and it’s an absolute bedside drawer basic that you’ll keep coming back to with a partner, or solo.
The magic wand is the OG vibrator, so it should be the first in your collection to. This one is slightly different from the Hitachi original, as doesn’t need to be plugged into the wall at all times.
Plus, its head is covered in a layer of textured silicone, so you won’t have to worry about your clit suffering from temporary numbness after being on the receiving end of its power. (Myth buster: vibrators do not cause permanent vulva numbness, but they might leave you feeling a little desensitised down there for a couple of hours.)
I love that it’s quite small compared to other magic wands, and the plus and minus button are a nice touch, so you can easily scroll between its eight vibration patterns and three intensities.
If you already think about Dakota Johnson every time you wank, you’re in luck. (Sorry, DJ.) This toy is actually made by her company, and has won awards for its very minimalistic look, which makes it something you’d be proud (or at least, not totally flushed about) leaving on your nightstand for the world to see.
It might look like a mere pebble, but it’s actually loaded with three different vibration speeds, so you won’t have to faff around trying to figure out which one of hundreds you like.
The tapered tip is great for direct clitoral stimulation, but it can also be used on its side to mix things up a little.
I don’t think Beyoncé was singing about this vibrator when she wrote Irreplaceable, but she should’ve been. If you’re into oral sex – that is, if you prefer it to fingering or other alternatives – you might want to consider a suction vibrator, which uses air technology to simulate the sensation of a delicious tongue against your clit.
This one has a soft and squishy head, so it’s the perfect distance from your clit, and I don’t know about you but I think it looks pretty unassuming. But trust me, it’ll soon live up to its name in your bedtime routine.
It makes total sense why this little machine is called a bullet – that is, because it gets you to the finish line in a mere matter of minutes.
This one from Lovehoney is seriously buzzy, comes packed with 10 vibration modes, and comes in at just £11 on sale, which leads me to my final point: if you can have an orgasm for as little as two cups of coffee, why wouldn’t you?!
What makes a good sex toy for beginners?
To help you make up your mind if you’ve never used a sex toy before, I asked Anna Richards, founder of Frolic Me, what kinds of sex toys are best for beginners.
“A bullet vibrator is quite simply a great little starter for anyone first dipping their toe into the world of sex toys as they are designed for providing clitoral stimulation,” she says.
“Clitoral stimulators really do set the gold standard when it comes to achieving some mighty strong and fast orgasms.
“They are also one of the largest collective of sex toys focused on female pleasure, due to the clitoris believed to house more nerve endings than a penis and whose sole purpose is purely to offer pleasure.
“It is widely accepted that less than 25% of women are capable of achieving orgasm through penetration alone and so we clitoral owners rely on the additional intense sensations to help us achieve the big-O.”
Generally, beginners will want to look for a sex toy that isn’t too large, because this might be intimidating if you’re totally new to the world of vibration and suction – and it’s also not so easy to store discreetly.
“Bullet vibrators generally are no larger than a lipstick in a smooth bullet shaped appearance, so really discreet, simple to use, and compact toy,” explains Richards.
“They are also one of the cheapest types of sex toys to purchase. A little bullet is a great all rounder to give you a taste of the physical pleasure that is offered from a well placed vibrating, pulsing toy.
“Often battery operated, they offer simplicity of use through a few settings and small enough to provide pin point accuracy of pulsating pleasure direct to your clitoris or any external erogenous zones. They are ideal for solo and real orgasm pleasure and small enough to take anywhere.”
More to consider if you’re new to sex toys:
- Material: Silicone and ABS plastic are generally safe bets when it comes to sex toys, as they aren’t porous, so they’ll last for longer and are easier to clean.
- Battery: For your first toy, you might want to try something battery-operated as these toys tend to be cheaper. However, rechargeable sex toys are more eco-friendly, and they’ll probably last for longer, too.
- Waterproof: If you think you’ll want to use your toy in the bath or shower, you’ll need to check your toy is waterproof (look out for an IPX6, IPX7, or IPX8 rating).
