One thing about me is I’m going to wax lyrical about sex toy Advent calendars. Can you blame me?
Considering sex toy giants Ann Summers and Lovehoney release them every year, I’ve grown as accustomed to them as my daily December mince pie. And I’m not mad about it.
As much as I love the gifting aspect of Christmas, there’s something unbeatably heartwarming about giving something (an orgasm) to yourself. In fact, sex toy Advent calendars give a whole new meaning to Christmas giving; one that it’s hard to look back from.
Don’t get me wrong, as much as I adore the other options on the market, when LELO announced it was releasing its very own, it was game over for everyone else.
As my all-time favourite sex toy brand, I’ve really put its toys to the test. The SONA 3 is one of the best suction vibrators of all time (yes, that’s a challenge) while SWITCH, the double-ended app-controlled magic wand, has developed a special place in my heart – and between my legs.
Seriously, the entire experience of unboxing its toys is a sensory experience in itself: its silicone is some of the silkiest I’ve ever felt, the toys come in their own storage pouch, and the brand has mastered the art of creating new vibrating, thrusting, and sucking technology that no other brands use.
My one complaint about LELO sex toys is that they often come with a hefty price attached. As they should, they’re luxury and you deserve nothing less on your sweet spots.
But the cost is just a slither of what makes the idea of its 12-day Advent calendar so enticing: it comes with five of its bestselling toys (which alone would cost well over the calendar’s retail price) along with seven sexy accessories and full-sized sexual wellness essentials.
For just £349, you’ll get the LELO TOR 3 (a vibrating cock ring), SONA 2 Travel (a mini version of my aforementioned fave clit suction toy), SURFER 2 (a vibrating butt plug), TIANI Harmony (a C-shaped couples’ toy), and MIA 3 (a bullet vibrator). In case you were wondering, those are worth a collective £555, but are priceless in terms of pleasure spent.
I can’t even begin to count the ways you can combine these toys for the best shag (solo or paired) of your life – I’m thinking a holy trinity of cock ring, butt plug, and clit vibrator.
But in case you need another excuse for a ‘festive’ time it also comes packed with a massage candle, sex pillow, lube, orgasm gel, toy cleaner, handcuffs, and a blindfold.
On top of a rocking good time, that spells £300 of savings on some of the most luxurious sex toys on the market today.
And I’m not afraid to claim that I know you’ll enjoy this calendar. Not only because I’ve tried most of the toys myself already, but because even if you don’t want to go for an all-out shag, you can sample some softer intimacy (coining that x) in the form of a massage using the candle, or by adding in a little power play to your usual regime.
Honestly, you’re going to have to shove me out of the way at the checkout for this one.
