By now, many of us have heard the UK government’s advice that we should “be ready” for emergencies and the disruption they cause.
As part of its campaign to encourage us all to be prepared for these eventualities, officials recommended keeping stock of 17 items, like three days’ worth of food and water, a torch, a wind-up battery, and a first aid kit.
Whether they’ve heard discussion about it in the car on the radio, on social media or at school, some children will be taking it all in and potentially worrying about what the adults around them know that they don’t.
Dr Sasha Hall, a senior educational and child psychologist, noted that everyone (adults included) will have different reactions to the news around stockpiling.
“Some will be concerned, others less so. And actually, it is completely understandable that some parents might feel anxious. There is uncertainty around what people are being asked to prepare for, and uncertainty can naturally create worry,” she said.
That said, just because something is worrying us as adults, it does not automatically mean it needs to become a worry for our children, she noted.
“Parents are often encouraged to communicate openly and talk about their worries. But we need to be a little more careful when those worries involve things that are completely outside a child’s control,” she advised.
If your child has already heard about stockpiling, perhaps through conversations at home, school or friends, “avoiding the subject altogether is not necessarily helpful either”.
How to talk about stockpiling with your children
The key is to offer an explanation, but equally, keep carrying the responsibility.
“Something we talk about in psychology is emotional containment. Essentially, this is about helping children make sense of something that might feel worrying, without allowing that worry to become overwhelming or something they feel responsible for managing,” said Dr Hall.
“For example, a parent might say, ‘You might have heard people talking about keeping extra food and water at home. Sometimes grown-ups like to be prepared for things like power cuts or bad weather, just in case. So when we do our food shopping, we might pick up a few extra tins or bottles of water and put them away in the cupboard.’”
This explanation offers children something concrete to understand, but importantly, it also shows them that this is something the adults are taking care of.
“Younger children in particular can overhear bits of adult conversations and then try to make sense of what they have heard themselves,” added Dr Hall.
“Without an explanation, they might imagine something far more frightening, or assume that because adults are preparing for an emergency, something bad must be about to happen.”
If your child sees you unboxing torches or radios you’ve ordered online, or stashing extra bottled water in the shed, Josh Felber, a mentor at FLBR, suggested that it can be helpful to share, very simply, “why” you have them.
For instance, a simple explanation could be: “Sometimes the electricity goes off while people fix something. This torch helps us see until the lights come back.”
“It isn’t likely to benefit the child if the adult they trust details every possible cause of disruption to explain why they have put aside some spare batteries or bottled water,” said Felber.
“Keep the explanation as close to the object in front of them. Highlight that your actions are precautionary and compare it to a provision that they may take; for instance, they may carry an umbrella when it isn’t raining.”
For older children, he recommended asking them what they have heard before deciding how much context to give.
Even when parents have explained something calmly, children may still overhear things that worry them.
Dr Hall noted it’s important for parents to create an environment where children know they can bring those worries to you.
“Often these conversations happen quite naturally, perhaps at bedtime, during bath time or when reading a story together,” she said.
“If a child does raise a concern, parents should listen rather than immediately dismissing it or telling them not to worry.”
Like Felber, she recommended asking what they have heard and what they think it means, “because sometimes what a child is worrying about is quite different from what an adult might expect”.
“Parents do not need to have all the answers. Sometimes simply listening, acknowledging the worry and explaining what the adults are doing to manage the situation can be enough,” she added.
Felber suggested parents should check their child’s school’s arrangements for emergencies such as severe weather or loss of utilities.
If your child asks “what if I’m at school?” when an unforeseen event happens, you can then calmly explain what they might need to do.
“Assign [your child] an instruction they can easily understand and follow, such as staying with their teacher and listening to the adults looking after them,” he suggested.
“Avoid promises about exactly how quickly you would arrive. Explain that the adults have arrangements for contacting each other and that your child doesn’t have to work out how to get home by themselves. Ensure that they’re fully aware that they’re your main priority.”
And once you’ve answered their questions, move on and “maintain the norm”, he advised.
Keep an eye out for signs of anxiety, which can show up through repeated questions, difficulties settling at bedtime, wanting to stay closer to parents, or changes in their usual behaviour, said Dr Hall.
“Parents should be mindful of these changes, particularly if they are different from how their child would usually behave,” she said.
“Ultimately, children do not need to be protected from knowing that uncertainty exists, but they do need to be protected from feeling responsible for managing it.”
